Merlin's Ath!
by Dobwig the HouseOwl
Summary: Sequel to 'Calling your father by his proper name' So Hugo's trying to find his beloved Chocolate Frog. Results? His first words.


**Disclaimer: You know the thing now. Everything related to Harry Potter belongs to Jo.**

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><p>One year old Hugo desperately ran around to find his last chocolate frog. Where was it? Where did he hide it? Was it under the couch? Nope. Was it in the folds of the sheets in Hugo's bed? Nope. Was it in Rose's hair? It's amazing what you can find in Rose's hair. Incredibly smart as she may be, Ron had fished out a Merlin Chocolate Frog card while he was stroking her hair at night.<p>

Hugo now jumped on Rose, who was peacefully looking at a book with giant pictures and words. Hugo grabbed a clump of Rose's fiery red and bushy hair in his fist and pulled it, hoping a Chocolate Frog would fall out. Rose screamed and dropped her book as she wrestled Hugo. The sibling fight continued for a while, with screams and an occasional 'Idiot!' from Rose.

'Hey! Hey!' Hermione ran over to her children and attempted to pull them apart.

'Ron!' Hermione yelled, as Rose, who had somehow turned upside down, grabbed at Hugo's feet and pulled them hard. 'RON!'

'What? What?' Ron skidded into the room, slipping on Rose's book and falling on his back with a thump, with a 'MERLIN'S ASS' – Ron's favourite quote, one he used so often, apart from 'Bloody Hell'.

'Ron! Help me untangle them!' Hermione screamed desperately, as Ron gingerly got up and rubbed his back.

'Right – I'm on it…' Ron grabbed Hugo's waist and pulled. Hermione pulled Rose's feet and the two groups fell back into two clumps, panting.

'Right!' Hermione was the first to stand up. She glared at Hugo and Rose. 'You are not allowed to fight each other! You get me? And who started this?' Hermione's nostrils flared as she swung her eyes from Hugo to Rose.

Rose, clever Rose, the only child who understands what the adults say, pointed her finger at Hugo. Hugo, poor Hugo, one of the many kids who don't understand what adults say, simply gazed at his mother's face, while not understanding what the hell she's saying.

'Ron, I've had enough. You take over.' Hermione walked out of the room, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Ron sighed.

'Buddy, uncool, ok?' Ron tried to look stern and failed.

'Be good, you too,' And Ron left both of them alone. Rose angrily picked up her book, and walked over to another corner. Hugo thought the day couldn't get worse. His body was aching from the fight, he just got told off, and worst of all, he can't find his Chocolate Frog.

There was only one option.

Later in the afternoon, Hermione was taking a nap and it seemed as though Ron had joined her. Rose was still reading, and Hugo was slowly creeping towards the kitchen.

There was a secret stash of Chocolate Frogs that his father had hidden. Hugo knew his mum would never let him have one. She said that it rots his teeth, but sometimes Ron would secretly feed Hugo some of it. Hugo knew exactly where it was, and less than ten minutes later, he was clutching a Chocolate Frog like it was a rare and precious gift. (A/N: "My Precious…" sorry, just had to do that.)

Hugo exited the kitchen, staring at the chocolate with wide eyes. Rose glanced up from her book and saw Hugo. She narrowed her eyes and realised they were – chocolate!

Oh, he's in trouble! Rose smiled. She hated being so mean, but this was necessary. Inching closer to her drooling brother, she stuck her leg out. Ah, her evil scheme would work so well – now she can get her revenge.

Hugo took another step forward, and fell on the ground, the Chocolate Frog sliding across the floor.

_Yes!_

Hugo screamed and yelled as though there was no tomorrow. It wasn't because he was hurt. It was because his Chocolate Frog had disappeared under the bookshelf. He thumbed his legs and fist against the floor, waking up Ron and Hermione. Rose's eyes widened – she didn't mean for him to be this hurt!

'What's wrong?' Hermione and Ron into the living room to find Hugo thrashing around. His screams were mingled with – were those words?

'MERLIN'S ATH! MEERRRRLLLLIIINNNN'SSS AATTHH!'

Hermione turned white.

Ron slowly picked up a struggling Hugo and grabbed Rose's shaking hand… backing away to the door.

'His first words –'

Hermione spun around, facing Ron. Her face was ghostly white, and her hand was gripping her wand tightly.

'RONALD WEASLEY!'

Ron dropped Hugo gently and let go of Rose's arm, and ran as fast as he could, and then – Disapparated.

Hermione knew where he went.

Ron landed on the Potter's couch. Hearing the sound, Harry rushed to see what was going and found a desperate looking Ron.

'Ron – what's wrong?' Harry asked.

'Harry,' Ron spluttered. 'Hugo – his first words – they were –'

Ron gulped.

'They were "Merlin's Ass!"'

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><p>Ok, peeps, I'm sorry this took a while to get up. I suffered from writer's block and had <em>zilch <em>idea of what Hugo's words should be. I thank Don'tforget2remember me' for her inspiration.

Also, ton's of you have added some of my stories to you're favourite's and so on - THANK YOU! That keeps me going :) also, i'm sorry for not saying who you are, but I promise I will with my next story, seeing as now I'm on an extremely slow internet service, which doesn't display its page when it SHOULD be. GARR.

Anyway, hope you like it, and per-lease review!


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